what's next, Papa?

:: my entire life i've been the odd ball. people say it's a good thing...that the world need people who are different and who bring "color" I HATED IT! i wanted to be taken seriously but was never given a chance. i've been over looked and misunderstood. i didn't know how to change it..ever. i hated being the black sheep but there was no escape.

:: lately, it's been something i've actually started to embrace. yes, i've been burned by people telling me that i'm "too much" or "not enough" but i am who i am. i am who my Father has made me. all my friends seem to have their lives [or at least the next step of their lives] figured out. me? until recently i thought i didn't know mine. i still don't but i wouldn't want to even if i could. i just get confused when people tell me i need to get it together.

:: i know what i'm doing. i'm in school for an extra year. an extra year because i thought i needed to know right away and pursued something that was not me...trying to become something i am not.

:: i am an artist and i have a heart for helping girls. where that will take me, i don't know. but the Lord does He has spoken to me lately telling me it's ok. He's got my back and will never let me down even in the midst of confusion. what's next, Papa?

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.