theology of suffering

:: recently i had to write my "theology of suffering" for a class i am taking. it's been a good class but it's draining...as most of my family classes are. i sat in class listening to dr. ogle. "suffering is everywhere. it is all around us. sadly, many of s never see the depths of pain, emptiness and depravity that some people live with every day."

:: break ups. sleeping around. drugs. eating disorders. abuse. neglect. gossiping. prostitution.

:: suicide is one of the top causes of death in the US.

:: my dear friend was asked to share her story of suffering during this class period. she is one of the strongest people i know...ironically that's what her name means. she is beautiful. she has come through so much and has only allowed it to grow her. she is truly wonderful.

:: with all that said [random tidbits as it may be] i want to share my "theology of suffering." it was somewhat of a catharsis of thoughts. as i flipped through old journals and turned on my "ugh!" playlist [the one i listen to when i need to cry] this is what i was left with:

How did I get here? Who have I become? Why me? Why this? Why
now?

Let go the need to know why. He knows. Don’t run.

Hurt. Shame. Despair. Aching. Crying out. Empty. Alone. PAIN. I’ve been there. I have felt it on my skin. It’s different. But it’s the same. Alone. Living in fear. Confusion. Bruised. Tired. Broken. You feel like shit. PAIN IS REAL.

Tears. Anger. Bitterness.

Wishing it will go away. Hoping it will stop. Praying for a change. Wanting acceptance. Desiring approval. Dying because you can’t be perfect. Wanting to be authentic. Wanting to be genuine. Wanting to be anything but what you are. Scared.

Afraid of being rejected if you live authentically.

Come out of hiding. Experience grace.

My world is shaking. My heart is breaking. I am a complete mess and he still loves me. I never leave His hands. You never leave His hands.

Accept the hurt. Cry. Hurt. Let it out. Hold on to itLet it goYou are not a nuisance. Your conflicts. Your pains. Take time. Let it all out.

Every time you mess up. Every time you fall. There is grace. You can’t mess up the Lord’s plan for your life. You are His.

Beauty will come from this brokenness. I have been broken. I am not a failure. You are not a failure. You are more than what you see. You are
beautiful. You are loved. Cry. Hold onto it. Let it go. It’s ok. You are not
what has been done to you. You are more than the choices you’ve made in the
past. You are more than the choices you still make.

Love. Hate. Hold on. Let go. Be gentle with yourself.

His love will overcome. His love will change you. Let it in. Let yourself feel. You can become new. You can be refreshed. I have been thereI have felt pain. It’s
different. But it’s the same.

He lets us hurt. He doesn’t make it better. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worth something. You are loved. You are accepted. You are precious. No matter what you have hiding. Let it go. You are beautiful. God wants to bless you. You are treasured.

Suffering is an opportunity to be embraced. Let Him hold you.

Your dreams have been shattered. Your shattered dreams mean something to Him.

You want to fight because you know that you are more. Feel that passion. Be still. Fight. Don’t run.

Take this as a chance to discover who you are. You’re beautiful. You are treasured. You are the beloved. Meet your suffering. Face it head on. Encounter grace. Experience love.

You don’t want to be weak. Be weak. Need love. Need acceptance. Be vulnerable. Let your walls down. You are not alone.

Your dreams are good. Let them out. Be vulnerable. Need help. Stumble. Fall. Cry. Hurt. Feel the low. Be miserable. But know it ends. You are not what you fear. Your identity is not your suffering.

He knows everything about you. You were made in Him. For Him. He offers you more than anyone or anything on this earth can ever give you. He will not fail you.

He is your defender. He can heal your broken heart. He can comfort you. He doesn’t want you to be alone.

He will not relent. He wants your heart. He will never break it. He will never reject you. His love never fails. His grace never ends. You are treasured. He cares about your broken heart. He cares when you cry. He cares when you hurtHe can take your tears away. He has made you acceptable and beloved.

He is for you. Nothing can ever separate you from him. He will never disappoint you. His love is perfect.

Let him wrap his love around you. Let go of the part of your heart only He can heal. Let his grace overtake you.

He is waiting…